anonymous asked:
Bit of a weird request but would you do a beard tf?
“Please, don’t do this babe.”
“No use begging, honey” I said as I lighted the last candle in the circle. “Today, you’re taking a trip back in human evolution.”
I stood back and started the incantation. Soon enough, my dear friend Agares, Duke of who-cares-how-many legions in hell, materialised in the room. He always manifested as a cute ginger stud, bespectacled and black-suited.
“What is it this time, mortal?” he snarled at me. “I’ve got actually important shit to get done.”
“I want you to devolve my boyfriend, here present, into a sexy caveman, all muscle and no brain, with hairy arms and legs and a shaggy beard, always devoted to me” I announced, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“Babe!” my boyfriend yelled, “but I love you.”
“And I love you too, honey. I just want to love you a little better, if you know what I mean.”
“Argh, mortals, you are so weird” interjected Agares, wasting no time. “Do you realise that this is the last boon I will deliver?”
“I understand. Now do it!”
“So be it. A caveman with a shaggy beard always devoted to you.”
An emerald glow inundated the room. My boyfriend started groaning, his body growing and growing hair just as I wished. However, something was missing…
“Oy, where’s his beard?”
“Oh, it’s coming, believe me.”
Suddenly I felt a rush of air blowing behind me. I felt myself slowly hovering towards my boyfriend, levitating almost. I tried to ground myself, to change my centre of gravity, when I noticed my hands doing something weird. They were thinning out and dissolving into the wind, floating like smoke towards my boyfriend’s chin.
I was about to protest but my mouth was gone. I blinked one last time before the rest of my head turned to smoke. I could feel all of my body drifting in the wind before crashing against somewhere warm and comfortable. I didn’t know what to do, how to fix this, whether there was a way out…
…and then I felt my boyfriend’s hand brushing through me. His big, broad-knuckled, caveman hand caressing my “body” in a way I had never experienced. And Agares’ thin fingers grabbing me as he pulled in my boyfriend for a sloppy kiss. And Agares’ chin and hipster moustache bristling against me. And… And… Hmm…
“No use begging, honey” I said as I lighted the last candle in the circle. “Today, you’re taking a trip back in human evolution.”
I stood back and started the incantation. Soon enough, my dear friend Agares, Duke of who-cares-how-many legions in hell, materialised in the room. He always manifested as a cute ginger stud, bespectacled and black-suited.
“What is it this time, mortal?” he snarled at me. “I’ve got actually important shit to get done.”
“I want you to devolve my boyfriend, here present, into a sexy caveman, all muscle and no brain, with hairy arms and legs and a shaggy beard, always devoted to me” I announced, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“Babe!” my boyfriend yelled, “but I love you.”
“And I love you too, honey. I just want to love you a little better, if you know what I mean.”
“Argh, mortals, you are so weird” interjected Agares, wasting no time. “Do you realise that this is the last boon I will deliver?”
“I understand. Now do it!”
“So be it. A caveman with a shaggy beard always devoted to you.”
An emerald glow inundated the room. My boyfriend started groaning, his body growing and growing hair just as I wished. However, something was missing…
“Oy, where’s his beard?”
“Oh, it’s coming, believe me.”
Suddenly I felt a rush of air blowing behind me. I felt myself slowly hovering towards my boyfriend, levitating almost. I tried to ground myself, to change my centre of gravity, when I noticed my hands doing something weird. They were thinning out and dissolving into the wind, floating like smoke towards my boyfriend’s chin.
I was about to protest but my mouth was gone. I blinked one last time before the rest of my head turned to smoke. I could feel all of my body drifting in the wind before crashing against somewhere warm and comfortable. I didn’t know what to do, how to fix this, whether there was a way out…
…and then I felt my boyfriend’s hand brushing through me. His big, broad-knuckled, caveman hand caressing my “body” in a way I had never experienced. And Agares’ thin fingers grabbing me as he pulled in my boyfriend for a sloppy kiss. And Agares’ chin and hipster moustache bristling against me. And… And… Hmm…
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