My husband had many vices, but none was more annoying than his obsession with antiques. What started as a few ancient coins and an Edwardian chair had over the years become a constant hunt for vases, figurines, and old furniture. And the last thing you want to do during your midlife crisis is to be dragged around derelict country houses and posh estates to rummage through their dead owners’ possessions. Trust me, it’s fucking boring.
This time around I just left him salivating over a dusty chaise lounge and went to find a quiet corner to nap for a while. I sneaked into one of the storage rooms and dropped dead on some fancy chair. A cloud of dust erupted from the cushions and got into my eyes and nose. As I instinctively brought my hands to my face, I accidentally knocked down a little porcelain doll that was resting on a cabinet beside me. I was scared the rattle it made as it broke would alert someone of my presence, but it seemed no one was around so I just ignored it, cleared my eyes of the dust, and prepared myself for a quick nap.
That’s when I heard it. What is it you want? I assumed I was in that awkward middle point between sleep and wakefulness, so I didn’t give it much thought. But it kept asking, gently. What is it you want? I started thinking about it. What did I want? My body. My forties had done some terrible stuff to my body shape and I really missed my defined abs and sculpted pecs. What else? Just a little peace and quiet. Life had become so chaotic lately, with my beloved sinking deeper into his obsession. He barely paid me any attention anymore… What else? I guess I just wish he wanted me as much as he wanted all these antiques.
So be it.
I felt a tickle running down my spine, like goosebumps. But the feeling didn’t fade like you would expect. In fact, it was intensifying. It concentrated on my bum, travelling slowly between my things towards my crotch. I pulled down my zip to see what was going on but my cock looked just like it always did. Perhaps a little paler than usual? Hmm, it did look like it was quiet pale, and it had a really weird sheen. I went to inspect it but, as soon as I touched it, the weird feeling intensified tenfold. And it was so good! It was like the tickle I get when my husband played with my nipples (spoiler alert: I have very sensitive nipples) but stronger and over a wider area.
I started massaging my cock and fondling my balls. I had not experienced such sexual bliss since… well, I don’t think I had ever experienced anything this good. But it was strange that, despite how amazing it felt, I wasn’t hard at all. I tried to grab hold of my cock to jerk off but I couldn’t seem to get my fingers around it. In fact, I couldn’t really tell where my cock ended and my crotch began. I kneed it with my hand but the surface was stiff and unyielding, though it still gave me indescribable pleasure to touch it. It was only when I noticed my pubes falling off that I actually realised something was very wrong.
I tried to stand up but my legs wouldn’t budge. They were rigid, locked into a casual position. I rapped one of them with my fist and they sounded hollow and solid. I would’ve panicked but the vibrations that my rapping made were so delightful! I tried to do it again but my arm wouldn’t respond anymore. Nor would my fist, which slowly opened up on its own accord. Without any tactile pleasuring, the horror of my predicament finally hit me. I struggled to turn my head towards the door, and when I cried for help, no sound came out. My eyes got drier and drier, yet I couldn’t blink anymore. I was frozen in place.
I waited for something else to happen. Maybe I would wake up. Maybe it would wear off, just a freakish allergic reaction to dust. But nothing happened. Hours went by, the afternoon sun slowly creeping into the room. At least the feeling of sunlight on my surface was warm and pleasing. When I had already given up hope and resigned myself to life as a forgotten antique, I saw my boyfriend walking into the room. He didn’t look alarmed by my looks. In fact, he seemed quite cool about the whole situation. He picked me up (sending me into a blissful frenzy in the process) and took me back home. He cat out my clothes and set me on a Chesterfield armchair by the fireplace.
I tried to hold on to my memories, my sense of self, but the more time that passed, the more I acclimatised to my life as a mannequin. It’s not so bad, to be honest: it is nice and quiet, I get to show off my beautiful body, and my husband has never given me so much of his time. He even polishes me twice a day.
These two dudes were taking the piss at the lockers, bullying guys in the showers and body-shaming anyone without a six pack. I wasn’t going to intervene… but then they had the nerve of picking on me and my friend.
Now, my friend has been dealing with a lot of self-hate and image issues over the last few years, as he has a very wiry complexion and really struggles to bulk up. And I’m not going to let a bunch of a-holes exacerbate his mental health problems.
So I turned the two morons into boxers and then gave one of them to my friend. As soon as we put them on, our muscles ballooned and inflated, matching the physique of the two bullies. Now whenever we see anyone being a douche at the gym, we make sure to put our new muscles to good use.
And yes, these two are still conscious. And I can tell you, they are not enjoying themselves.
Fuck, I never knew wrestling could be so invigorating! As a human being, that is. Not that I’m complaining about my time as your singlet, little fella. I freaking loved it!
I adjusted my erect cock in my singlet and felt the fabric pushing back, recoiling at my touch. One of the straps fell off - it had been happening every hour or so since I put him on. That was starting to piss me off, to be frank. I had been such an obedient, supportive singlet, why could he not do the same for me?
I’m telling you, dude, if you don’t stop being a bitch, I’m gonna make this permanent. You were supposed to keep me as a singlet for a match and I ended up doing it for an entire season. Now it’s payback time.
———
Mark, take me off, you fucking asshole! I’m sorry I didn’t turn you back sooner, you were just so damn comfortable… And the way you massaged my cock! It was glorious. Please, dude, I’m a wrestler, not a wrestler’s gear. Turn me back!
———
I felt a painful pinch in my balls and yelped. That was the last straw. I went to the locker-room and started rubbing my boner, faster and faster, until I felt the familiar pressure building up.
———
Wait, Mark, no, wait! I’m sorry, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to do that. Don’t cum on me dude, I don’t want to be stuck as a singlet. No, no, no, argh!
———
I sat on the bench as I caught my breath. That had been a really good wank - who knew jerking off in your singlet could feel so good? I stood up and patted the yellow fabric, now a lot more submissive than before.
I hope you liked the taste of that buddy, ‘cause you’re gonna get a lot more over the next few… years.
It’s easy to hitchhike when there’s so much willing prey behind the wheel. You just need to show them what they want and they’ll take you wherever you fancy.
And after the trip, you can always invite them for a one-way trip up your ass. More often than not, they will feed themselves to it without any effort on your behalf.
That’s life on the road for me: free trips and easy meals.
Oh buddy, I know how it is. You date a cute cub for a while thinking that will sate your deviant cravings. You hope that worshipping his generous gut will be enough to satisfy you. Maybe if you grow a nice belly of your own, the need will dissipate. But we know it’s not enough. You don’t really want to have a big cub with a round body to worship and fuck. You don’t care about being beefy and having a prominent gut yourself.
You want to be the belly.
That’s ok beautiful, I can help. We can do it whilst he’s asleep. Just put your face on his belly, your nose poking at his bellybutton. Grab his love handles. And then sink.
Yes, that’s it. First goes your head, so you can start feeling like a belly. As more of your body mass is transferred to your boyfriend, he starts gaining weight - and years. Oh yes, you’re going to be the proud gut of a mighty bear. That’s it, keep sinking, sink and forget about being human…
…sink…
…sink…
Can you feel that? It’s me, grabbing at your love handles. And that’s my cock, rubbing on your happy trail. Do you like it? I know you do. Your boyfriend turned out really nice, a very attractive bear, so I think I’ll help him test his new shape. I’ll have to jiggle you a lot as I do, do you mind? No, of course you don’t.
We’d all met when we joined the swimming team at high school. Since then, we’d been inseparable: we swam together, we exercised together, and we hung out together. We’d explored each other’s bodies as we hit puberty, experimented, and expanded our sexual boundaries with each other. We were as close as human beings could be.
But despite the fact we were all really good at swimming, it was only Aidan (on the left) that really had a chance of making it big. He was the only one that had qualified for the national finals. And if he scored high enough, chances are he’d be headhunted by some sponsor and trained to be an Olympic swimmer.
We three weren’t jealous - we were really happy for him! But the thought of losing him was really upsetting for us. So we devised a little plan to both always stay together and ensure Aidan made his dream of becoming a famous swimmer.
We met up with Aidan a couple of hours before the competition. We wanted him to have something to remember us by - at least in our current form. The photographer for the event was only too kind to take a picture of the whole group.
After that we headed to the locker-rooms. We hadn’t told Aidan yet as we feared he might say no to the whole thing. We took our speedos off and drank the elixir we’d bought online. That wasn’t enough though - we had to be in close proximity to Aidan for the magic to work. So we suggested to let off some steam before the other swimmers arrived.
Aidan knew what this meant. He removed his own speedo and gave us a nod, as if saying ‘go to town’. And we did! We knelt around him and started worshipping his hardening cock and bouncy ass cheeks. He really liked it when he was the centre of our sexual shenanigans. And from this day on, he would be the centre of our very existence.
We opened our arms and hugged each other around Aidan’s crotch. Our hands started merging with each other’s backs and shoulders until we had become a single entity. We pressed our faces against his ass and cock and started flattening, our legs and torsos getting absorbed into our fabric body. But all of that body mass wasn’t going to waste - our combined strength was being siphoned into Aidan’s muscle, our swimming skill and stamina adding up to his own.
By the time the process finished, we were just Aidan’s speedo. But we weren’t gone! We were still there, with Aidan, much closer than we’d ever being. The boundaries between our personalities and memories blurred further and further as our identities merged into one.
Aidan was saddened for a second as he thought his closest friends were gone forever. But then he felt them tightening around his crotch, moulding to the shape of his ass. He could feel their essence close to him, almost hear their faint thoughts at the back of his mind. He instinctively knew that they were there, with him, and they would support him for the rest of his career.
As the competition began, he went out with a confident stride. In the pool he felt faster and stronger than he’d ever been. And best of all: he felt he would never have to do it alone.
I wanna be even CLOSER to my boyfriend and his pecs~ Think you could help me with that
“Come on babe, don’t be shy, say hello” your boyfriend says in his honey-dripped voice.
You start bouncing up and down, all the movement you can muster in your new form. You don’t mind though - in fact, you freaking love it! You get to spend all the time with your favourite person in the world. You can feel his body heat sipping into your muscles, his beating heart pumping hard behind you… And when he flicks your nipples, hmm, it feels like heaven.
He’s also a very generous owner. He always asks his one-night stands to grab you as he fucks them. It’s almost like you’re both having sex at the same time.
They are just one-offs though - your boyfriend would never cheat on his beloved pecs.
Can you make me into dash wilders gear? a big strong handsome man like him deserves the best gear!
Oh damn! I’m so sorry buddy, but I actually turned one of my pals into his trunks only last week. He really wanted to be close and personal with his ‘equipment’, and Dash had been begging me for some new gear for a while, so it just made sense. I could always transform you once Dash returns him; however, he sent me a video the other day with the caption ‘keeping this one for a while, love him ❤ !’, so I’m guessing that’s not going to happen anytime soon. But hey, I wouldn’t want you to leave empty-handed so what about a different deal? Dash mentioned he could really do with a comfy vest to wear before and after matches, and also to the gym. What would you say to that? It would involve hugging his beautiful chest and broad back, and you’d probably end up soaked in his sweat.
I’m going to take your tented pants as a yes. Ok, come back tomorrow and we’ll organise everything.
———
Hey, welcome back! Hope you don’t mind but I invited Dash over and… Oh, you’re hard again. You really are into this guy. Well, let’s not wait any more time. Just step forward and start worshipping his body.
Hmm, I told you Dash, he is a perfect fit. Why don’t you give him a hug? Yes, just press a little harder… a little harder… You can already see him flattening, adapting to your unique physique. His hands are already merging around your back. And that sound? I think that’s him moaning. Beautiful.
Cool, let me know when you want to return him. If you ever do ;)
You asked for it. Go lie on my sofa, face up. Hmm, nice legs… Don’t be embarrassed, there’s nothing wrong with thin legs and a small bum. I’m going to be honest, I think you’re very cute the way you are. But since you insist, I’ll give you the body you want.
Let me smear a little spittle on my cock - wouldn’t want to hurt you. Now relax and let me… that’s it… Hmm, you’re very tight down there. You gotta relax, it’ll make all this a lot easier. Yes, that’s it… I’m going to push deeper, and deeper, and… get ready.
Did you feel that? How it rippled through your entire body? I can already see some changes. Your flat chest is a little more defined, your legs are definitely thicker, and your asscheeks are hugging my cock a lot tighter. Shall I thrust again? Yes, of course.
I start fucking you properly, trying to bury my cock as deep within you as possible, as with each rap your entire body inflates a tiny bit. It almost feels like I’m inflating an inflatable doll, your muscles ballooning the more air I pump inside of you.
Get ready gorgeous because by the time I’m done with you, you’re going to be huge!
He loved latex. Actually, that would be a bit of an understatement: he lived for latex. He wore it at all times, even to work, and could not stop fantasising about it. He loved the feeling of rubber on his skin, its texture and tightness, its scent, even its taste! He really lived for latex.
So I got him something. A little present of sorts. I drove him to a secluded area of the forest and asked him to put a few drops of oil on his gear. I didn’t tell him what it would do - just that he would love the final results. Then I led him to a sunny clearing and sat on a tree stump.
He looked at me confused. Was something supposed to happen? Did he have to do anything? He went to take a step towards me when his ankle bent the wrong way and he lost balance, falling with a thud on his bum. Thankfully the soft grass cushioned his fall a little, otherwise he probably would’ve been quite pissed off.
He tried to get himself back up but his legs weren’t responding properly. His feet felt numb, and yet surprisingly sensitive. He swore he could even feel the grass he was lying on. He leaned forward and grabbed hold of his left foot. As soon as he did so, a gentle moan escaped his lips. He could feel his hand on the surface of his latex boots, the microvibrations generated from rubbing his clumsy fingertips on the rubbery surface. He gave it a squeeze and found it was empty - his feet was gone!
As he explored his boot, he noticed his lower calves seemingly deflating. He tried to shake them and felt the soil underneath them, the jagged edges of rocks scratching at his rubbery skin. His own rubbery skin. That’s when realisation hit him: he was turning into his gear.
He looked up at me, his frown arched quizzically, his mouth open in disbelief. I simply smiled and nodded: this is your surprise. I hope you like it. He looked down at himself again, seeing the changes travel through his things. His lips slowly curved into a delighted smile - he liked it!
I strode towards him and knelt between his deflated legs, which I started to caress. His reaction was immediate: he leaned his head back and moaned, his body overtaken by the pleasurable sensation. His enjoyment seemed to accelerate the transformation because his things finished deflating and his bulge started flattening, any evidence of gender vanishing. I clawed at it before his anatomy was fully gone and was received with another powerful moan from him.
Without any lower body to hold his weight, his upper body descended onto the grass. The transformation was quickly progressing up his chest and down his arms, his moans subsiding as his lungs disappeared.
I lay on him and planted a kiss on his lips. He tried to say ‘thank you’ but there was no air left for his vocal chords to work. Besides, once the transformation reached his neck, his head started darkening and turning rubbery. His mouth pouted and protruded, turning into a mask. He looked at me one last time before his eyes closed forever.
I collected all his pieces, still warm from the transformation, and drove him back to our apartment. I laid him on the bed, ready to be worn, and then invited a common friend of ours over to have some nighttime fun.
As I put him on, I could feel his latex body vibrating, emitting its own body heat. I could tell he was still alive, still conscious, and very much looking forward to the first night of his new existence.
“Dude, don’t sweat it! We get guys asking to turn into stuff for us all the time. Like these trunks Dean is wearing - they were just some dude I met at the mall.”
“Permanent? Only if you want it to be. My friend Brian turned into my trunks a month ago and he still hasn’t decided to turn back. I think he might have forgotten he was ever human, to be honest. Don’t blame him though, apparently it feels real good.”
"Exactly what you wished for. You said you wanted to be taller, stronger, bigger! Well, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. And in this case the eggs are your mind."
"I didn't... want this... please, make it stop..."
"Nonsense, why would you want it to stop? You're turning out so fine. And that cock, wow. What a masterpiece. Mind if I give it a tug?"
"Dude, stop, I... Hmm, nice... yeah..."
"Yeah, that's it. Forget about everything else and focus on the pleasure. Just the pleasure."
I jump on top of my bed and stand directly in front of them, my jockstrap tented by my hard cock and already damp with pre. Their eyes are fixed on my bulge, hypnotised by its inviting pulse and tantalised by the possibility of becoming it.
Because tonight one of them will have the honour of fusing with my cock. Permanently. The lucky chosen one will merge with my 8-incher and get to spend the rest of his life as a sentient cock, with nothing to do except enjoying the pleasure that I give him.
How do I make my choice? Pleasure, of course. Whoever can give me the most pleasure over the next hour will win this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
And the time starts... now.
---------
I cum all over his face. My my, he is an expert cocksucker. The way he explored my member, from its base to the very tip, and traced its surface with his tongue, is beyond compliment. I gently cup his face with my hand and lift his eyes towards mine. "You are the one."
He beams at me, cum dripping from the corner of his smile. The other guy huffs, his arms crossed like a children having a tantrum. It's not my fault though, is it? He insisted on playing with my nipples, in spite of my saying I'm ticklish, and his blowing technique was sloppy at best.
"Are you ready?" I asked my winner. He nods with excitement. "Just swallow my entire length, all the way to the base. Make sure your lips touch my sack." He nods again and slowly, almost ritualistically, buries my cock into his mouth. Once the entire beast is out of sight, I close my eyes and lean my head back. "Here we go. Three, two, one..."
As I start the process, I feel another pair of lips making contact with my sack. I open my eyes and find the other guy desperately pressing his mouth on my groin. "Sweetheart, that's not how it works. Only one can - aww!"
I suddenly feel this influx of energy and testosterone rushing into my body. Both guys start moaning loudly and, when I look down to see what's going on, I find that my winner is slowly merging with my cock - and the loser is starting to transform into one.
I try to push him away but his lips are irremediably attached to my balls, which have begun to grow in order to accommodate the second member. It matters not - as soon as my hand caresses his skin I feel another wave of euphoria and lust wash over me. I start massaging both guys, each with a different hand, and my head starts spinning. The pleasure of a transforming dick is already enough to make a man drown in pleasure, but two?
My knees buckle, partly due to their shared weight, partly due to the overwhelming sensation. They both flail their receding arms and legs, their moans fading as their vocal chords disappear. Once they are small enough, my massaging evolves into feverish jerking. When I can finally feel my urethra opening, I know it's time. I quicken my pace, the double workout making my biceps burn. But I'm close, and I can feel it - feel him - feel them! - about to...
FUCK! Both cocks erupt into massive torrents of cum, each pleasurable spasm followed by another rope of jizz. I take a whole minute before my head clears and I realise what just happened. I look down and am met with a beautiful sight:
Hi, I'm really enjoying my holiday in Japan, so much that I'd love to stay here longer... any way you could make may stay permanent?
Let me introduce you to the Pack, or Okami Otoko (狼男) as they are known in Osaka. They’ve been looking for a fifth member for a while and I suggested you. What would you say?
That’s the spirit. Well, if you don’t mind, I’m going to stick around as they ‘initiate’ you into the group. Yamato and little Iori seem particularly keen to become more ‘acquainted’ with you, considering they are both already hard and undressing you with their eyes. Come on, what are you waiting for? Make it easy for them. Take off those clothes and present your cute bubble butt for inspection.
What are they saying? Oh, they’re just discussing who’s going to have the honour to initiate you. No, sorry, I’m afraid you don’t get to choose. I know Atori is the hottest, but it’s up to them. Their Pack, their rules.
Ooh, it looks like it’s going to be Masaki. I’ve heard he’s the gentlest of the lot, so you’re in for a nice trip. And look at his cock! What a beautiful thing to watch. Come on, perk up that asshole of yours and get ready for a one-way ticket!
Hmm, I can imagine it feels really good. No, don’t mind me, I’m just… enjoying the spectacle. Atori, would you want to sit with me? We can watch the show together. Ooh, you’re good at this. Look at that, it seems Masaki is about to cum.
And there he goes! What a stud. Can you feel it now? A little tickle in your asshole, spreading up your back and down your thighs, slowly changing you into…
Wait, what? Japanese? No, you’re not turning Japanese. What a ridiculous thought! And quite problematic as well. You shouldn’t be fetishising other races, that’s just dodgy.
No, you’re turning into something much more useful to the Pack. You’re going to - I’m about to tell you, you don’t need to yell. You are - could you please stop flailing about, it’s very distracting. I know your limbs and head are receding, but that’s no excuse to behave so uncivilised. Oh well, never mind. You probably are too distracted by the pleasure taking over. Besides, your ears are all but gone, so you wouldn’t even hear me.
Well guys, I hope you enjoy your brand new silicone toy. At least as much as he - or, more accurately, it - will be enjoying you all. Mata ne!
“Dude, no pics at the pool!” he shouted, his bulking physique towering over my average figure. “Fucking creep.”
I headed back to the lockers as I fanned the Polaroid picture I had taken. As soon as I found an empty booth, I got in and started the ritual: spread the mixture of salvia, ash, and Brad’s cum (cordially donated by my good friend Tony, another guy in the swimming team) over his picture, then burn it with a lighter and breathe in the smokes.
As soon as the scent hit my nostrils, my entire body spasmed violently. Then again. And again. With each spams, my muscles swelled larger and larger. I needed to lean on the wall to balance myself as my centre of gravity shifted. When my palm touched the tiled wall, I noticed that it was bigger, thicker, more solid. Solid enough to bully other guys through their college years, that’s for sure.
As the rest of my frame settled, I felt my cock and ass grow to match Brad’s. The sensation was too much for me to handle and I started jerking off viciously. As my changes reached completion, I reached climax. I moaned like nobody was listening, but then heard someone else moaning in the showers.
I slowly opened the door to see who it was…
———
“Dude, no pics at the pool!” I shouted at Billy, his beady eyes ogling my body as he lowered his Polaroid camera. “Fucking creep.”
He scuttled away into the lockers. I thought of going back into the water but that annoying faggot had completely took me out of the zone. Fuck it, he needs to know. I strode towards the lockers, ready to give him a good beating.
As I entered the lockers, I felt a sudden cold. Like all the heat in my body was slowly leaving me. It was disconcerting and almost painful. I headed to the showers to see if the hot water could help but the sensation only got worse and worse. All my muscles felt tense and stiff like a full-body cramp.
Then I saw it. My toes were grey. Stone grey. I tried to wiggle them but they wouldn’t budge. The change quickly rose up my calves and knees. When it reached my thighs I started to feel an insurmountable pressure in my ballsack, as if I had been jerking off and edging for hours. As the greyness enveloped my groin I felt this pressure travel through my cock and…
I came so hard, I couldn’t help but moan. The pleasure was unlike anything I’d felt. It was still going… and going… and going!
I looked down, still moaning uncontrollably, and saw my cock. My rock-hard cock, literally made of rock, with a jet of crystallised cum attached to the tip. Panic tried to take over me but the waves of pleasure just kept hitting me. As the changes reached my upper chest and shoulders, I gabbed my cock with both my hands to see if I could make it stop cumming, but the sensation on my rocky skin felt so good I started jerking. It didn’t last though, my hands freezing mid-motion.
Finally the changes reached my head. My moans stopped, my mouth froze in place, and my eyes clouded up. Just before I lost my hearing, I heard the door to one of the booths open…
———
…it was Brad. Or what was left of Brad: a beautiful statue, six foot two, sporting a mighty hard-on. He looked so gorgeous, even in his current state. I walked towards him when I noticed my reflection in one of the mirrors: Brad was looking back at me but, instead of his usual aggressive look, he now seemed friendly and approachable.
I stood beside the statue and placed my hand on his chiselled abs. (Chiselled. Ha.) I could feel it vibrating, alive and conscious. According to the spell, the victim would be trapped in an eternal orgasm. I touched Brad’s member and thought to myself: hmm, that doesn’t seem fitting. I know!
Prod.
Push.
Crash.
And I walked out of the showers, trying not to step on any bits of Brad.
They dared him to stand in the water for a minute. He knew it would be freezing cold as it was fresh from the mountains.Still, he was no chicken, and so he stepped in and waited.
But then the guys started laughing and pointing at his legs. He glanced down and saw his thighs slowly sinking into the water. He sank his hand into the water to see what was going on but couldn’t find his feet. His thighs just seemed to reach the water… and then disappear.
He jerked his hand off the cold surface in time to see it melt, his fingers receding as droplets of water poured down onto the pool. He tried to run for land but, without legs, he tripped and fell face-first into the water. He panicked and flailed his hands and whatever was left of his legs, but that only sped up the process.
His arms vanished. His cock and ass swirled into nothingness. And after a minute, all that was left was a pair of black speedos.
Bit of a weird request but would you do a beard tf?
“Please, don’t do this babe.” “No use begging, honey” I said as I lighted the last candle in the circle. “Today, you’re taking a trip back in human evolution.” I stood back and started the incantation. Soon enough, my dear friend Agares, Duke of who-cares-how-many legions in hell, materialised in the room. He always manifested as a cute ginger stud, bespectacled and black-suited. “What is it this time, mortal?” he snarled at me. “I’ve got actually important shit to get done.” “I want you to devolve my boyfriend, here present, into a sexy caveman, all muscle and no brain, with hairy arms and legs and a shaggy beard, always devoted to me” I announced, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Babe!” my boyfriend yelled, “but I love you.” “And I love you too, honey. I just want to love you a little better, if you know what I mean.” “Argh, mortals, you are so weird” interjected Agares, wasting no time. “Do you realise that this is the last boon I will deliver?” “I understand. Now do it!” “So be it. A caveman with a shaggy beard always devoted to you.” An emerald glow inundated the room. My boyfriend started groaning, his body growing and growing hair just as I wished. However, something was missing… “Oy, where’s his beard?” “Oh, it’s coming, believe me.” Suddenly I felt a rush of air blowing behind me. I felt myself slowly hovering towards my boyfriend, levitating almost. I tried to ground myself, to change my centre of gravity, when I noticed my hands doing something weird. They were thinning out and dissolving into the wind, floating like smoke towards my boyfriend’s chin. I was about to protest but my mouth was gone. I blinked one last time before the rest of my head turned to smoke. I could feel all of my body drifting in the wind before crashing against somewhere warm and comfortable. I didn’t know what to do, how to fix this, whether there was a way out… …and then I felt my boyfriend’s hand brushing through me. His big, broad-knuckled, caveman hand caressing my “body” in a way I had never experienced. And Agares’ thin fingers grabbing me as he pulled in my boyfriend for a sloppy kiss. And Agares’ chin and hipster moustache bristling against me. And… And… Hmm…
